Netflix seems to have acquired the rights to a bunch of 80s classics I’ve either never seen or are in the annals of my memory. Firstborn was one of those movies. I watched it in bits and pieces on cable throughout the pre-streaming years, and I remembered the evil boyfriend being kicked out at the end. So, naturally, I expected to love this one.
In the end, I don’t know that I loved it, but it is definitely a pro-single movie. It starts Christopher Collett and that 80s heartthrob Corey Haim as Jake and Brian, a pair of typical suburban brothers whose single Mom, Wendy, goes through her crisis when her ex-husband announces he’s remarrying. Still in love with her, she goes on the rebound and comes home with a man named Sam, played by a pre-Robocop Peter Weller.
Immediately, one of Wendy’s friend gets suspicious. “Don’t just go for the first guy,” she said. “I’m tired of being alone,” Wendy responds. “I just wanna be happy!” Big mistake, Wendy!
Sam seems like a nice enough guy at first. He barbecues for the family, he buys Jake a moped, and he has a lot of big ideas, like investing in a security company and a restaurant. But Jake smells some bullshit, and when he calls Sam on it, he gets defensive. After a tense dinner, he shoves Jake and says, “Get off my back.”
Slowly, we start to see the scum Sam is. He talks a good game, but he spends most of the day watching TV and drinking beer. Soon, we learn he’s a drug dealer and has Wendy hooked on cocaine. Jake starts playing a little too aggressively on the lacrosse field, becomes distant with his friends and girlfriend (played by a young Sarah Jessica Parker) and tells off a teacher (though, to be fair, that teacher is a pompous drip, so he did have it coming). Brian’s beating up other kids left and right.
Up to this point, this is a wonderful film, accurate in its depiction of how the need for romance can be destructive to the lives around the toxic couple. Too bad the ending is channeled from Rambo than from what might actually happen.
That said, the message is: watch out for charming guys. Better to stay single, especially when you’re in a fragile state from a breakup. Too bad social media didn’t exist in 1984; Wendy could have used a group like the Community of Single People.