An Open Letter to Tennessee Educators and Students

I spent nearly a week in Tennessee in August 2014, when I drove from El Paso, Texas to Newport News, Virginia for my first academic job.  It was a fun time.  First stop, Memphis, where I bopped around Beale Street and indulged in some ribs and blues.  In Nashville, I caught country music fever whilst at the Country Music Hall of Fame, not to mention the country-themed record stores and the street musicians playing fiddles and washboards.  On my way eastbound and out, I got to hike some trails at Great Smoky Mountains National Park while staying in Gatlinburg, an ode to Jesus, babies,  overconsumption, and 18 miles of highway surrounded by a never-ending stream of mini-malls.
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Despite that last part, I enjoyed my trip to Tennessee.  I even considered moving there for my second academic job, but ended up choosing Washington, DC, which is where I’m located now; the University of the District of Columbia (UDC) offered me a better deal.  And now that I learned about HB 0178, aka “The Sequence Success Act,” I’m glad I did.  The act now requires schools to teach kids that graduating high school, pursuing a degree or entering the workface, getting married, and having children leads to a successful life.  With the new administration, I’ve been trying to scale back my political writing, but as an activist for the single and childfree, I can’t stay silent on this one.  So this is my plea to students and teachers in The Volunteer State to passively and actively resist this in ways you can.

Educators
While I know you’re in a red state, most of the teachers I know lean blue.  After all, we tend to have a proclivity for critical thinking, and we want our students to look beyond what’s in front of them.  If you’ve been assigned to teach this, know that there is no law that prevents you from at least presenting other points of view on the issue.   So, after you’ve taught that, kindly introduce texts (or even excerpts) such as these:

Singled Out: How Singles are Stereotyped, Stigmatized, and Ignored, and Still Live Happily Ever After – Bella DePaulo
Solo: Building a Remarkable Life of Your Own – Peter McGraw
Stepping Off the Relationship Escalator: Uncommon Love and Life – Amy Gahran
How to be a Happy Bachelor – Craig Wynne (sorry, I couldn’t resist plugging my brand!)
Childfree by Choice – Amy Blackstone
Happy Singlehood: The Rising Acceptance and Celebration of Solo Living – Elyakim Kislev

These books will also lead you to other resources, which you can also find on Bella’s list here. 

And if you don’t teach Family Life courses, consider bringing in excerpts from those texts into the courses you teach.  We call it the “hidden curriculum” in education.  I did something similar involving a few of those books in my first-year writing.  You don’t necessarily have to agree with any of our contentions, but do present it to your students so they can form their own opinions and make life choices that are more conducive to who they are.  Marriage and children are a valid path for some, but they’re not for everyone.  Politicians who don’t understand that shouldn’t have the right to make decisions for others.  And teachers who don’t understand that shouldn’t have the right to shape young minds.

And any DEI practitioner who doesn’t understand such stigma is oppressive has no right to speak about DEI under any circumstances.

To Students
During my senior year of high school, I took a painting class.  I was disillusioned by some of the oppressive policies my school had put in place (not being allowed to use the soda or vending machines until after class, juniors not being allowed to park in the student parking lot), so I painted pictures likening our school principal to Adolf Hitler.  As I look back on it, this may have been a silly, futile gesture, but it was my way of using creativity to rebel at that time. Even if you do want to get married and have children someday, understand there are other ways of living and relating that work of others.

If your teachers aren’t providing texts like that for you, read some of them on your own.  Thanks to the smartphone, you can access them in seconds.

And if you’re not inclined to reading or advocacy, and your teachers haven’t gotten my memo, I give you full permission to ditch class on the day your instructors “teach” this lesson.  Bop around Beale Street on that day.  Check out the Country Music Hall of Fame and Museum.  Hike the Smokies. 

The best way to rebel is through passive resistance and through use of discourse.  So go for it!  Dolly Parton would approve.