ISSA 2024

​Moving into a new home as a SALA (Single and Living Alone) is freeing, but man oh man, is it exhausting!  You do everything yourself. 
 
And so the International Singles Studies Association Conference couldn’t have come at a better time.  The train ride to Boston was uneventful, just how I like it.  And those solo train trips – I can’t get enough of those.  Reading (I Don’t: The Case Against Marriage) and viewing (the pro-single Muriel’s Wedding) also made the trip fun.
 
After a wonky sleep at the Airbnb, the alarm on the phone told me it was 6 a.m. and time to rise.  I was about to see my fellow crusaders, though, so I figured sleep could wait.  I wasn’t too pumped about the rain, but I braved it to get to the T.  My New York Mets hat did earn me a few stares on the ride to Arlington.  My thought on that, “We have a common enemy.  I hate Yankees fans too!  We should be friends!”
 
After my requisite Boston Crème donut and coffee from Dunkin’ Donuts, I met up with Joan, Karen, Donna, and Elizabeth at the hotel, where I couldn’t help but stare at Karen’s Eggs Benedict with smoked salmon (sadly, home renovation expenses forced me to be satisfied with aforementioned donut and coffee). 
 
My temptation to order that dish as a second breakfast (Lord of the Rings reference!) was interrupted by the need to be at the Boylston Room for the first talk of the day.  There, I got to see Elyakim, and in addition to meeting Donna for the first time, I had the pleasure of making the acquaintance of Geoff MacDonald and Kate Fama, whom I’d only seen on those Brady Brunchesque squares of Zoom.
 
I was enthralled to learn there were three concurrent sessions, up from the one that took place when Ketaki and I organized the inaugural conference back in 2020 (it seems like so long ago).  Conversely, I was bummed I had to miss others, but I did get to hear Donna and Joan’s stories of singlehood, Elizabeth’s literary analyses of Ottessa Moshfegh's My Year of Rest and Relaxation and Jhumpa Lahiri's Whereabouts, two pieces that will now have to be on my reading list.  And I got that usual adrenaline rush that came from presenting my piece.  It was the same on Mrs. Maisel, but it’s good to try it out on different audiences.  And I’m working on new some material as we speak.
 
I had a second presentation on one of the entirely virtual rooms.  Unfortunately, the Wifi information the hotel gave me wasn’t accurate (limited resources for us singles, indeed!), but I did find a table at the adjacent Starbucks, where I attended a talk from Giora Ashkenazi about single gay men’s partner-seeking habits.  Not surprisingly, the “fear of loneliness” and “fear of being single” scales came up quite a bit.
 
I gave my presentation on “How to be Single and Happy” and had the privilege of sharing the stage with Ketaki, as well as Naomi Cahn, Bobbie Spellman, and Kaiponanea Mastumura, who are developing a course on Singlehood and the Law, a course I would sign up for in a heartbeat, even without the required law school prerequisites.  The ensuing discussion about family law and how Singles Studies fits into that were enthralled, and I was honored that Naomi asked me to share my How to be Single and happy course materials.
 
I did head back to my Airbnb in East Boston (also known as “Eastie,” a term I learned from Karen), where I was able to catch a power nap before the last session of the day, in which Donna, Bella, and Christine Erickson spoke about initiatives happening: Donna advocating for single women without children and Christine’s work on a counter to the pronatalism movement.  And, of course, Bella’s close: reflections on her work in Singles Studies.
 
I headed back to the hotel for the happy hour, where I saw Kate, Joan, Bella, Erin, Kelly, and Elyakim, where all kinds of topics came up.  Singles Studies, of course, but also politics (PLEASE VOTE THIS FALL!) and traveling.  The conversation continued over dinner at nearby French Quarter (nothing like New Orleans-style food in Boston).  Topics: politics, tax and financial problems among couples (shout-out again to Karen, the accountant in the house), and inequities in health care. 
 
As an introvert, my social battery drains quickly, particularly at night, but I was willing to brave it to hang with my fellow crusaders.  Nonetheless, I was happy once back in my room with my music.
 
The next morning, I got out of bed to see my phone read “8:51,” the latest I’d woken up in weeks.  After a solo jog around Eastie, I headed to South Station, had a breakfast sandwich, and sat down to read the day’s Boston Globe.  Then, I heard about the power outage in New Haven, which kept all trains between Boston and New York in lockdown.  The announcement said the “estimated time” they’d be back up was 3 p.m., but as a solo who loves train travel, I know better.  I immediately got a refund and hopped a Greyhound bus to New York.
 
That would have been much harder with a partner or family in tow.  We would have had to discuss, wait, discuss more, and we probably would have had to stay the night.  In my case, I was able to drop off in New York to see Chester, who’s been staying with his Grandma while I’m in the moving process. 
 
Writing has gone on the back burner since I’ve been in the moving process, but conferences are always reinvigorating.  So I’m resolving to start each day with some writing, just to set the mood.