Taylor Swift's Finally Getting Married!

Taylor Swift has already achieved virtually every marker of cultural success imaginable: billionaire status, historic touring records, fourteen Grammys, and one of the most devoted fanbases in modern music. Yet the media narrative around her engagement suggests that her life only truly culminates now: through her upcoming marriage to Travis Kelce.
​
I’m happy for Taylor that she’s found a supportive partner, and I hope they enjoy a great life together.  But the hype around it is too much, albeit typical when someone gets married and thus, “finds success.”  We should stop conflating those terms.

Swift’s net worth is around $2 billion.  She has fourteen Grammys, including four albums of the year.  And very few musical acts have devoted fanbases with names like “Swifties” or “Deadheads.”  Develping such a following is quite an accomplishment.  So why is it suddenly world news that “she’s finally getting married?”  Her Eras tour was the highest-grossing concert tour in history, and that didn’t make nearly the amount of headlines.

The fascination surrounding Swift’s relationship isn’t really about Swift herself or even the people who are gushing over it. It reflects a broader cultural phenomenon.  “Matrimania,” a term coined by social scientist Bella DePaulo, is the societal obsession with marriage.  When I introduce this concept during presentations on Singles Studies, I provide images of 90 Day Fiancé and elements of The Bachelor franchise, which have incredible viewership.  Entertainment franchises like these are built around finding a spouse, while accomplishments like artistic mastery, athletic endurance, or community leadership rarely receive equivalent cultural celebration.

Matrimonial bias isn’t merely annoying or superficial; it can affect how institutions value human lives. I recount the story of my friend and colleague, Joan DelFattore, who was recommended a less aggressive course of treatment by an oncologist because, according to the doctor who treated her, she had less to live for without a spouse or children.  Fortunately, she found a doctor who was more open-minded, and, as of this writing, she’s in remission.

The laws appear to carry the same stance as DelFattore’s original oncologist.  For example, I could leave Social Security benefits to a woman I meet today and marry tomorrow.  But I can’t do that for the sibling I’ve known for nearly forty-four years.  And despite a clean driving record, I pay more for car insurance because a married person is supposedly a better driver.  Research has found that married men often receive workplace advantages in hiring and promotion. Workplaces are also quicker to promote a married person, at least if they’re male.  Researchers tend to ignore these practices when they conclude married people are wealthier and healthier than singles.

Some studies do show, however, that single women are happier and healthier than married women.  Given that marriage between two hetero individuals benefits the man more, it makes sense.  Studies consistently show women in heterosexual marriages still perform a disproportionate share of domestic labor.

These are the reasons why Taylor Swift has been a role model for women.  Her accomplishments represent autonomy, independence, and reinvention.  Yet, when she got together with Travis Kelce, the public narrative shifted to “She’s complete now!  She found her person!”  When they announced their engagement, it amplified: “They’re finally tying the knot!”

Marriage is a great thing for a lot of people.  But we lionize it to the detriment of accomplishments that are just as valid, maybe more so.  If even a woman as accomplished as Taylor Swift is still culturally framed as incomplete until marriage, then our definition of success remains far narrower, and far more patriarchal, than we like to admit.