You Got Coldplayed!

I know one song by Coldplay, “Clocks,” which played on the radio nonstop during my 20s.  And they never made it to the front of my rotation.  But now, they’re all over the place since Andy Byron, the CEO of Astronomer, a tech-company, and Kristin Cabot, the company’s Chief People Officer (HR?), were caught canoodling at a show on their “kiss cam.”


As always, social media and the Internet have been eating this up.  “Coldplayed” is now a verb.  There’s the joke that “Coldplay” never made a single, but now they’ve made two.  Hardeeharhar!


I love writing about how overprescribed marriage is in our world.  Society defines “success” as marriage, children, family, white picket fence, etc.  I’m not a marriage counselor (obviously), but  I have a few thoughts:

1. I go to a lot of concerts, and I see a lot of male-female pairings (my most recent experience was with a platonic female friend).  I see some folks canoodling and making out, and now I can wonder: is someone cheating?
2. When a spouse cheats, it’s usually the third party who’s the subject of all the vitriol and mockery, especially if the “side piece” is a woman, but I wonder: what’s the man’s role?  It takes two to tango, doesn’t it?  Megan, Andy’s wife, could sue Cabot according to the “alienation of affection” law, which is ridiculous.  Cabot is getting a lot of flack, but I’m glad to see Andy is as well.
3. As overprescribed as marriage is, I don’t endorse or condone adultery.  It’s not because I’m so moral.  I support consensual non-monogamy for those who want it.  But even that’s based on honesty and transparency.  Dishonesty?  Not cool.  I do believe much of the mockery of this pair comes from our expectation of monogamy as “the standard,” but when you sign up for that life, you need to be like The Dude and abide.
4. Finally, what’s going on behind the scenes of that marriage where the husband is cheating, and so publicly?  I’m not a telepath or marriage counselor, but I’m guessing he’s facing some issues where he’s lying to his wife.  And the fact that she immediately refers to him as an idiot on her social media page tells me she doesn’t think much of him.

I was listening to the “Success” episode of Three Single Women, one of my favorite podcasts, when I came up with this idea.  All three of these current singletons were questioning traditional notions of success.  At first glance, the Byrons likely have the picture perfect definition of success: money, prestige, the family, each other.  But I would join in this trio in advising anyone who’s down on themselves about being single to remember not to compare your behind the scenes footage to another’s highlight reel.  As much as I sympathize with Megan and the kids, the Byrons are more than likely about to see their highlight reel unfold.   


And by that point, the cybersphere will have long since forgotten about them.  Sadly, their kids won’t.  And they call childfree folks selfish?  Hmmmm...