I really need to devote at least one day per month to “doing nothing.” And my version of “doing nothing” consists of staying home, watching junk TV, playing with my cat/son Chester, napping, and writing.
After a day of binging through Law and Order: Special Victims Unit episodes and watching Mississippi Burning, another pro-single flick, I flipped through my Prime account and found a movie called The Burning Bed; the one-sentence plot description involved a woman accused of murdering an abusive husband. Why not?
Farrah Fawcett stars as Francine Hughes, a woman who endures years of verbal and physical abuse from her husband, Mickey, even after they’ve divorced. The marriage culminates in her setting him on fire.
The film flashes back and forth between tense exchanges between Francine and her defense attorney, Aryon Greydanus. At first, she won’t talk, but eventually, she opens up about the abuse.
Francine and Mickey meet at a party in 1963, a time when people just “got married.” Some early red flags appear when Mickey pressures Francine into having sex, and even Francine’s face indicates she’s not so sure about this guy. But it’s 1963 in the Midwest, she’s sixteen years old, and she can’t envision saying “no.” After all, women didn’t dare to do that back then.
Much of the movie paints a realistic portrayal of the abuser-abused dynamic. Mickey hits Francine. He then apologizes and insists he’ll never do it again. Francine forgives. He hits Francine. Cycle repeats. Francine attempts to leave, but toxins appear from outside the marriage. Her own mother even says, “You’re supposed to forgive in marriage. Don’t keep Mickey from his kids” (they have three within a few short years). The fact that his parents don’t say anything while he’s hitting her in their presence is even more disturbing.
As a side note, Mickey’s father, Berlin drives Francine to her mother’s house after the first instance of violence. When Mickey’s mother, Flossie mentions “he and I got married at your age,” the concerned expression on Berlin’s face suggests there may be similar, more subtle dynamic at play in their marriage.
The years go by and they’ve divorced, Francine agrees to look after Mickey, who’s been injured in a car crash. For the sake of the children, Francine agrees to look after Mickey, thus putting them into a domestic partnership. Mickey drinks more, and Francine decides to go back to school. We see her thriving there, which naturally enrages Mickey. He “forbids” her from going back just as he’s hitting her. At that point, we see Francine taking off with the kids, and in the background, a giant flame rises in the bedroom window. Francine is tried for murder, but is found not guilty by reason of temporary insanity.
While the real Francine Hughes did remarry, my guess is that she did it to add to a better life she was forming. Since the film is based on a true story, it’s an example of how matrimania and singlism lead people to enter relationships that are dangerous. We see it as Francine ignores the red flags, and their families enable it.
I’m glad we’re making progress as far as the “need for marriage” is concerned. But we still have a long way to go, hence my involvement in Singles Equality.