For a lot of guys, the “friend zone” is the kiss of death. There are so many dating guides on how to stay out of the “friend zone”, because apparently, the end goal of any male-female relationship should be sex and/or romance.
When I wrote my upcoming book, How to be a Happy Bachelor, I did an inventory on every romantic and sexual relationship I ever had, but I didn’t think about those relationships that were platonic but might have “gone romantic” or “gone sexual.” I sensed some of my female friends may have had an interest in me, but I never really felt that interest back. So here’s my guide to how to stay in the friend zone, if you want to remain “friends” (notice how I didn’t say “just friends,” because the word “just” minimizes friendship):
1)Refrain from explicit flirting, and DO NOT GET PHYSICAL – Flirting can give the wrong idea. And obviously, physical forms of affection can, and in much more damaging ways. However, if you’re looking for FWB, say so. Honesty is key.
2)Use the word “friend” in conversation – It’s subtle, but it gets the message across.
3)Just be honest. If someone expresses a romantic interest, and you don’t feel it, honesty is the best policy. The worst thing you can do (to yourself and to another person) is to get into a relationship just because you want to make that person happy or just to post on social media that you’re “in a relationship.” It’s going to be disastrous for both of you in the long run.
There’s nothing wrong with being friends. The concept of the “friend zone” was coined just to sell dating guides. Don’t buy into it. My most meaningful relationships are platonic ones.
My name is Craig. I'm an educator, writer, and unapologetic singleton. When not reading, writing, or teaching, I enjoy hiking, running, watching movies, going to concerts, spending time with friends, and playing with my cat/son, Chester.