The Happy Bachelor
  • About
  • Blog
  • Published Pieces
  • How to be a Happy Bachelor
  • Coaching
    • Bachelor Coaching
    • Writing Coaching
    • Singlehood Classes
  • Resources on Singlehood
  • Bachelor Cooking
  • Contact
  • Pro-Singlehood Movie Reviews
  • Other Happy Singles and Me
  • Singular Selves: An Introduction to Singles Studies
  • Student Work
  • Upcoming Talks

Singletons: Check on Your Coupled Friends.  They May Not Be Okay.

3/31/2020

2 Comments

 
​It’s hard to be on social media and not see at least one post related to how introverts are faring way better in this time of self-isolation/self-quarantine than their extroverted counterparts.  After all, we introverts derive our energy from alone time, whereas extroverts get theirs from being around others.  There’s that message going around, “Introverts, check on your extrovert friends!  They are not okay!”  It’s done in jest, but there’s some truth behind it.  Some of my extrovert friends and family members are having a tough go of it, and I send them vibes. 
 
On the Community of Single People Facebook page, we see all kinds of things related to singlehood.  At least once a day, I see some kind of vent about a condescending coupled person.    Recently, someone posted a Tweet from a pastor named Michael Foster that I’d prefer not to quote, so I’ll let you read for yourself.
 
Okay, so you read it, and hopefully, you read a few opposing comments, including my snarky little response (he had it coming).  But, for us singletons, it’s actually a very good time to be single, particularly if we spend a lot of time outside the home.  I’m an introvert, yet I maintain a very active social life, filled with concerts, dinners, and other gatherings.  That being said,
“alone time” is a necessity in my life.  And I’ve used it to Netflix and Chill, write, and read, things I normally do.  But I’ve also picked up my guitar and practiced for about 45 minutes every night, something I’m pretty sure I haven’t done since my 20s.  I’m also relearning songs and recording them for my Facebook followers.  I also have an online chess game going with a friend (I was never much of a chess person, but I have to say I like it, even when I’m getting slaughtered).  Finally, I’ve been hosting a small writing group with other CoSPers via Zoom and have had the opportunity to meet some cool folks from around the world, people I wouldn’t meet in real life. 
 
So this introvert singleton’s doing pretty well.  But I actually do express concern for some (not all) of the coupled folks out there.  If I were in a relationship where I wasn’t totally happy, I’m pretty sure I’d be going out of my mind during this Coronacation.  And if I had children, well, I just don’t wanna picture it. 
 
So, in a moment of jest, I posted “Fellow singletons!  Check on your coupled friends!  They may not be okay!” on CoSP.  It got some laughs, but this joke is rooted in seriousness.  I’ve seen a few articles mentioning an increase in domestic violence calls.  In many cases, these victims are stuck in unsafe environments, and I made sure to mention this to Pastor Foster (and I wonder what his church is doing for those folks).
 
And even in safer yet still toxic environments, the quarantine is problematic.  I always said that even if you’re having a tough time with singlehood, you can still change your perception about being single.  When you’re in a bad relationship, you’re stuck with that partner you can’t stand.
 
So fellow singletons, call your coupled friends (preferably on videochat) and tell them things you’ve learned or things they might funny.  It helps with their loneliness and reminds them that they’re whole people.   
2 Comments
Kyaira
3/31/2020 08:23:15 am

Very well put! The sentiment behind what that guy said is very toxic. Anyway, I agree and since survivors of domestic abuse is a topic of a group project in my grad program I have been concerned about them during this time, and the increased 911 calls for domestic violence proves my concern is valid. Such a horrible situation to be in.

Reply
Craig Wynne
3/31/2020 09:23:16 am

Thanks, Kyaira! I think COVID-19 could transform the way we think about marriage and relationships.

Reply



Leave a Reply.

    Author

    My name is Craig.  I'm an educator, writer, and unapologetic singleton.  When not reading, writing, or teaching, I enjoy hiking, running, watching movies, going to concerts, spending time with friends, and playing with my cat/son, Chester.

    Archives

    March 2025
    November 2024
    October 2024
    September 2024
    August 2024
    July 2024
    June 2024
    May 2024
    March 2024
    February 2024
    January 2024
    December 2023
    August 2023
    May 2023
    April 2023
    February 2023
    January 2023
    December 2022
    October 2022
    September 2022
    June 2022
    May 2022
    April 2022
    March 2022
    February 2022
    January 2022
    December 2021
    November 2021
    October 2021
    September 2021
    August 2021
    July 2021
    June 2021
    May 2021
    March 2021
    February 2021
    January 2021
    October 2020
    September 2020
    August 2020
    July 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020

    Categories

    All

    RSS Feed

Proudly powered by Weebly
  • About
  • Blog
  • Published Pieces
  • How to be a Happy Bachelor
  • Coaching
    • Bachelor Coaching
    • Writing Coaching
    • Singlehood Classes
  • Resources on Singlehood
  • Bachelor Cooking
  • Contact
  • Pro-Singlehood Movie Reviews
  • Other Happy Singles and Me
  • Singular Selves: An Introduction to Singles Studies
  • Student Work
  • Upcoming Talks