It’s hard to be on social media and not see at least one post related to how introverts are faring way better in this time of self-isolation/self-quarantine than their extroverted counterparts. After all, we introverts derive our energy from alone time, whereas extroverts get theirs from being around others. There’s that message going around, “Introverts, check on your extrovert friends! They are not okay!” It’s done in jest, but there’s some truth behind it. Some of my extrovert friends and family members are having a tough go of it, and I send them vibes.
On the Community of Single People Facebook page, we see all kinds of things related to singlehood. At least once a day, I see some kind of vent about a condescending coupled person. Recently, someone posted a Tweet from a pastor named Michael Foster that I’d prefer not to quote, so I’ll let you read for yourself.
Okay, so you read it, and hopefully, you read a few opposing comments, including my snarky little response (he had it coming). But, for us singletons, it’s actually a very good time to be single, particularly if we spend a lot of time outside the home. I’m an introvert, yet I maintain a very active social life, filled with concerts, dinners, and other gatherings. That being said,
“alone time” is a necessity in my life. And I’ve used it to Netflix and Chill, write, and read, things I normally do. But I’ve also picked up my guitar and practiced for about 45 minutes every night, something I’m pretty sure I haven’t done since my 20s. I’m also relearning songs and recording them for my Facebook followers. I also have an online chess game going with a friend (I was never much of a chess person, but I have to say I like it, even when I’m getting slaughtered). Finally, I’ve been hosting a small writing group with other CoSPers via Zoom and have had the opportunity to meet some cool folks from around the world, people I wouldn’t meet in real life.
So this introvert singleton’s doing pretty well. But I actually do express concern for some (not all) of the coupled folks out there. If I were in a relationship where I wasn’t totally happy, I’m pretty sure I’d be going out of my mind during this Coronacation. And if I had children, well, I just don’t wanna picture it.
So, in a moment of jest, I posted “Fellow singletons! Check on your coupled friends! They may not be okay!” on CoSP. It got some laughs, but this joke is rooted in seriousness. I’ve seen a few articles mentioning an increase in domestic violence calls. In many cases, these victims are stuck in unsafe environments, and I made sure to mention this to Pastor Foster (and I wonder what his church is doing for those folks).
And even in safer yet still toxic environments, the quarantine is problematic. I always said that even if you’re having a tough time with singlehood, you can still change your perception about being single. When you’re in a bad relationship, you’re stuck with that partner you can’t stand.
So fellow singletons, call your coupled friends (preferably on videochat) and tell them things you’ve learned or things they might funny. It helps with their loneliness and reminds them that they’re whole people.
My name is Craig. I'm an educator, writer, and unapologetic singleton. When not reading, writing, or teaching, I enjoy hiking, running, watching movies, going to concerts, spending time with friends, and playing with my cat/son, Chester.