So, on Friday night, I had the opportunity to go out to dinner with a new group of guys, and while it was fun and I enjoyed their company, I feel kinda left out when a few of them started talking about their wives and such, and three of them were going to Atlantic City for a “bachelor party weekend” (not my cup of tea anymore, but still). There were other singles at the table, but I happened to be sitting next to the married crowd. Oh well.
I didn’t know what to expect logging onto this discussion group of Amy Gahran’s Off the Relationship Escalator, a book I read for my research for How to be a Happy Bachelor. After my morning run, I logged onto the Zoom group and was placed into a breakout room about “Preserving Autonomy,” where I heard others talking about the same issues we discuss on CoSP. I had to give them Bella’s site, as well as that recent Atlantic article, “The Hidden Costs of Living Alone,” and that OpEd from Charles Blow, “The Married Will Soon Be the Minority,” the latter of which really cheers me up.
There was another talk about intimacy outside of a committed romantic relationship, which I’m on board with. I’m more intimate in my platonic friendships than I’ve ever been with a romantic partner. I got a great deal out of it, and those feelings cancelled out the isolation I felt Friday night, but I was a bit sad to leave that space of truly like-minded individuals. And then I thought of the idea of a singles-centered utopia.
I would like to live in a community populated by single-at-heart people. No coupling or romance, and I’d especially love a world where marriage wasn’t privileged. Equal tax benefits for all, equal leave for all and no microaggressions. I remember reading about solo-dwelling communities in Eric Klinenberg’s Going Solo, and for my retirement, I’d like to live in one (or if I have the money, start one of my own). Spaces like CoSP are starting to make me believe that something like this can be possible for us singletons.
Happy Ace Week!
My name is Craig. I'm an educator, writer, and unapologetic singleton. When not reading, writing, or teaching, I enjoy hiking, running, watching movies, going to concerts, spending time with friends, and playing with my cat/son, Chester.