Editor's Intro: A student in my Blogging class, Shyanne Dyson, developed As Told By Shyanne Hope, a blog on feminism, this past semester. There is a great deal of intersectionality between singles' activism and feminism, so I asked her to contribute a guest blog on singlehood. Enjoy!
The Quarantine Chronicles of a Single Extrovert
May 1st will mark 6 weeks of quarantine for Maryland residents. Pre-pandemic Shyanne would have laughed at the thought of being cooped in the house for anything longer than a weekend. While I understand and stress the importance and need for self-isolation--please stay home—I can’t shake the longing for my regular lifestyle.
Months before quarantine started, I ended a three-year relationship with my ex. That being said, I had time to heal and come to terms to this new, single chapter of my life. I was happily single. I had already planned on moving to DC with my best-friend, Mykaela, after graduating in May. New city, new job, and new scenes to explore. I was falling in love with myself for the first time, post-relationship, and I was eager to see what my future held… then COVID-19 hit.
The first couple weeks of mandated self-isolation were great. I was pleasantly surprised. I used my aloneness as a sanctuary to cultivate my new self. I spent hours journaling my thoughts, painting, and binge watching my favorite shows. Between countless glasses of Pinot Grigio and even more episodes of The Office, I had become so indulged with myself, any feelings of aloneness became solitude.
Not to diss all the couples out there, but I truly did not miss compromising on dinner plans, fighting for the remote, or sharing my bed. I didn’t miss their constant presence because I just didn’t need it— I made myself happy.
I’ve heard that love is fleeting, but I didn’t expect my newfound peace to be so short-lived. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still happily single by choice and I’m not changing my relationship status anytime soon. But as weeks turn to months, I’m noticing an uneasy feeling stirring in my gut. Was this loneliness? How could I feel lonely? I’m not yearning for the past with my ex, I’m not craving a fresh start with a new boo, and between friends/family/pets, I have a great support system. Why am I beginning to feel unsatisfied?
Who am I kidding? I know what I’m missing… I’m beginning to crave social interaction! I’m an extrovert who thrives under unpredictability. I don’t do well with routines and I like to fast paced environments. There are only but so many ways to re-organize my day for the sake of variety. And besides exercise, grocery shopping, and sitting on the porch, there are even less things to do outside of the home during my days. (I’m beyond grateful that my only problem during quarantine is boredom. I know that countless people have faced unemployment, sickness, and even abuse since being forced to stay home.)
With so much idle time and so little ways to fill it (and wine), I’ve been tempted to make questionable decisions. Maybe I should respond to the text my ex sent me? Or take up one of the many offers I’ve received from guys I went to high school since I’ve been home from school? As my pops would say, “boredom is the devil’s playground” … not to say I’ve made hellish decisions, but under pre-pandemic circumstances, I probably wouldn’t even consider.
Between finding a man that performs well and keeping said man from wondering outside of his assigned friend zone, the thrill of a new conquest just isn’t worth the headache that comes with! The inner peace I’ve found since being single took months to build, I don’t have the energy to battle with men who are not satisfied with remaining single also. Being the considerate human that I am, I understand men aren’t disposable— no matter how much I wish they were lol, jk jk. *inserts awkward laugh*-- they have feelings and needs too. (And it’s not to say I don’t have feelings, just not those involving commitment, haha. So instead, I’ll look for personal adult novelty products on Amazon.)
Despite various projected reopening dates that have been proposed, we don’t know what the future holds in the wake of COVID-19. Us single extroverts have to take it one day at a time—in my particular case, two days because of Prime shipping—and take notes from our introvert friends. If boredom and frustration are the worst of my worries throughout these tough times, I’d say I’m making out pretty good.
Stay safe, stay healthy, and stay home. Thank you, Dr. Wynne, for letting me share your platform for this blog post. And thank you, readers, check out my blog.
My name is Craig. I'm an educator, writer, and unapologetic singleton. When not reading, writing, or teaching, I enjoy hiking, running, watching movies, going to concerts, spending time with friends, and playing with my cat/son, Chester.