The Single Friendly Church Discussion - Part Two

​“Beep!  Beep!  Beep!”
 
So went my alarm at 5:32; I had given myself the gift of one extra minute of slumber before waking up to check out Part Two of the Single Friendly Church’s discussion group, which would focus on teaching and leadership. 
 
Once again, I was on as an observer, and I did just that this time: observe.  No talking.  But man, did I take furious notes.
 
First notable point: the poll that asked if their church taught about singleness indicated that not a single one did.  I can’t say I’m surprised about that one; religious institutions (and the world at large) are generally focused around teaching about the building and maintenance of a healthy marriage/coupling.  And when the world “single” appears in the class/workshop’s title or description, the purpose is to help participants exit singlehood.  This is why, when I give workshops on singlehood, I include the disclaimer, “This course will not teach you how to date or how to “get a partner.”  It will also not show you how to be in a romantic relationship.  If you are looking for that, this is not the course for you.”  When I taught a semester-long version of this course at Hampton University, my enlightened students seemed to get it.  Someone in the group also talked about a course called Securely Single, which is based in the Christian faith.
 
The group also discussed ways to integrate singlehood with church leadership.  As a single person, I’d like to see more happily single politicians, CEOs, religious leaders (outside of priests and nuns), school administrators, and the like; in their bios, so many of them emphasize how they’re a “husband and father” or “wife and mother.”  I’d especially love to have a college President sans spouse (every college President I ever worked under routinely touted their spouse like they were a sporty new coat). 
 
At any rate, here’s a list of political leaders who remained single.  Whether you not you agree with their philosophies, they’re good examples that singles (whether by choice or by circumstance) can do what marrieds can, if not more so, due to the fact they don’t have to invest so much time and energy into their coupling.
 
I will acknowledge my last sentence has some bad connotations: “Well, you’re not married, you have time for such and such…”  And the group acknowledged that when approaching single members to be of service, they should be careful not to take that kind of tone.  And please, don’t say “Jesus should be your husband” to someone who WANTS to be partnered!
 
The world at large has some work to do when it comes to accepting singles.  Religious institutions preach acceptance and tolerance, but it seems like they’re not quite there when it comes to their single members.  I’m glad the Single Friendly Church is working to rectify that.  I’m not a religious person by any means, but if you are and you’re invested in happy singlehood, I encourage you to help your church become a part of this network.
Yes, I know that last sentence sounded like an ad.  But dammit, our message needs advertising!